The Lifeboat

"We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." -Romans 6:4

I wonder what God imagines when He thinks of the "new life" He wants us to have through Christ. And I wonder how many people live up to His expectations there. I know I don't. When God brought me back to Himself about a year and a half ago, there were definitely some things that I purged from my life and some amazing ways my life was transformed. But by no means was I living a completely new life. And I don't think He means that our whole lives need to be different outwardly once we are baptized in His blood. But I do believe that inwardly we should be dead to our old selves and therefore be living a wholly new life with Christ. And naturally that should manifest itself outwardly in our lives. But twenty-five years of crap is a lot to sift through, and there's a lot of that crap that frankly I don't want to let go of. It's scary to let go of the life that you've been used to for so long. But I feel like it's a bit like being on the Titanic and having to jump onto a lifeboat but not wanting to because I know that up until this point I've been safe on the Titanic. And if I jump into the lifeboat, I can't keep holding on to the Titanic, because eventually it's going to sink. I wonder what parts of the Titanic I'm holding on to that I need to let go of. I know there are plenty of them. And if you asked me on a normal day, I could probably give you a pretty good excuse for why I still cling to them and why it's okay for me to keep them in my life. But when I'm alone with my thoughts and prayers and can really see clearly, I know that in order to embrace the new life God has given us through the sacrifice of His only son, I've got to let go and jump in the lifeboat.