Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Post #2

A few months ago I was sitting on the beach watching my dad and sister play bocce ball down the shoreline from me, and as close as they were to me, they still looked like ants beside the ocean. Even buildings looked small.

To think we are the highest it gets, the pinnacle of existence, seems almost psychotic at times like these. We think, act, live as though we own the earth, control it, have conquered it, when even our own inventions threaten our lives daily. We are so naive, humans. We run our rat race, under the guise of control, safety, wisdom, power, when none of these exist in us alone. We are but slaves to almost everything that surrounds us. The society we have created makes slaves out of us, and we know not how to escape it. We scarcely desire to escape it. We know deep down how hopeless, how powerless we are. And so we strive and we grasp for strength, hope, power. We think the most immediate and tangible things will bring us what we need most, because often we see what seem like immediate results. Other people, even, we put our hopes and dreams into those of us who seemingly exude the most strength or potential. And when they fail us we rage against them, cursing them for their wrongdoings.  And we move on to the next one.

Often we realize "I" is the only one we can truly rely on, the only one who will not or cannot let us down, because we are one, and we will not let ourself down or fail ourself. How foolish we are when we come to this. We knew this at the very first. It was what caused us to seek strength in others. And yet, somehow, we come back to ourselves when the others fall short.

How long will it take us to see the fault here? When will we open our eyes to the reality that they did not fail us because they were less than we are, they failed us because they are us. We are all humans, groping for meaning, and something, anything, above us to pull us out of ourselves. When will we learn? When will we see that the road we have travelled so long is but a hamster wheel, beaten down every time we come to the beginning again and repeat the journey, never a new step, never a new direction.

(more uplifting posts to follow)

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